Friday the 13th!


Friday, July 13, 2007

Shawntae' with is sons CaRon, Clarence Jr, and Noree (from left to right)



Most people look at this day in a suppositious way and as being unlucky. However, for me, it is a very special day. It is on this date which God sent me a very special gift. He is 26 years old today. I named him Clarence Shawntae’ and is the one I have written about in A Mother’s Cry-He’s Still My Child. I thought about him this morning while reading my morning scripture (Ephesians, chapter two) and wanted to share the word with him.

I went to see him this morning before going to work. I wondered if he had gone out and partied his birthday in or if he had made the choice to chill out. I rang the door bell at 6:30 a.m. and he answered it, with a big smile! I exchanged the smile and gave him scripture I wanted him to read and to make sure we would be ready to have dinner at Ryans. I wanted him to know that I would bring his 5 year old son, CaRon from Brevard and I was still trying to make contact with Ms. T (Tykerria), Noree, and Colea. Clarence Jr., the younger one would be there with his mother.

I shared with my son that CaRon wanted to know why he wasn’t there to go swimming with him, like the other dads do with their children; and I wanted CaRon to have the opportunity to talk directly with him, especially since he hadn’t seen him in some time.

My son and I continued our conversation. He shared with me that he had started reading the book again. He told me about a woman that lives in the apartment complex where he sometimes hangs. “She is in a wheelchair, mom. I always talk with her and continuously asked her why does she do the things she do, especially since God had given her a second chance in life. But you know, mom, this week, she told me that she had gone on your website and read all that you had written. She told me she now looks at me as a different person. She then asked me, why do I do the things I do.”

My son didn’t give me the answer that he told her and I didn’t ask, but I do know it made him think. I then shared with him how I had just received a telephone call on yesterday morning, from an aunt Eleanor in Florida right after I had left him. She asked what was I doing and when I told her that I had just left from seeing him, she replied, “You are still on his trail, aren’t you? You’ll never give up and that’s good because so many parents do. Just think of the ones who stress out so bad that they turn to alcohol and drugs, too.”

I told my son that in order for anything to change in his life, he first has to make a choice to change his mind, his way of thinking. I told him that all kinds of people are asking about him, praying for him, and wanting to talk with and listen to him, but until he makes a choice to do something different, nothing will never change. I reminded him that no matter what he was still my child and I will always love him… even through the sometimes anger and sometimes hurt. I will forever be in prayer with and for him. As I walked off, Shawntae’ said, “I love you, momma.” I turned and said, I know, but I want you to learn to love yourself more, you have other life’s depending on you and God has something for you to do.”

As a parent of a challenging child, it hurts so bad to watch my child self-destruct, for reality is what it is. Sometimes I feel like I am on a battlefield fighting for his life. But I thank God that I have learned that the battle is not mine, it’s the Lords, and the battle has already been won! I just had to learn what I was supposed to do in the midst of it all. To protect me, I learned about putting on the whole armor of God in order to protect my mind and my heart. Action steps were taken. It allowed me to see things from a spiritual prospective instead of only the natural reality. One of the most important thing, for me, is to learn to see a situation the way you want it to be and live it that way. Have faith that one day this will be the everlasting reality.

That’s why, I made a date to get my family together, my husband, my two sons, my daughter in-law, three of my grandchildren (Clarence Jr., Noree’, and CaRon), Clarence Jr’s mother, two of my nephews, and my mother and stepfather. We celebrated Shawntae's birthday. The staff at Ryans sang happy birthday and delivered a personal-sized birthday cake to him We enjoyed the moment, despite of the situations at hand! It gave me a flashback of when Shawntae was the age of his sons. There was so much laughter and recorded memories…ones that I will always cherish.

Jr. ate until he couldn't eat anymore and then he posed for pictures!

CaRon and Noree, both 5 years old shared some brotherly love!




Well, after three hours, Jr. received a call - party's over!







In closing, on the top of the list of important things for a parent to do is pray. As a matter of fact, praying is not just for parents, anyone can pray for a child (all over the world to include the children in Iraq), for others, and self. I know it may be difficult, but we are supposed to pray for one another, even for the ones who hurt us. Zo, my older son's birthday is Tuesday, the 17th. I'll post one of my favorite prayers for the family then! Special thanks to the woman in the wheelchair and to anyone else who encourages not just my son, but any youth or adult whom has chosen a self-destructive path.