Feedback from Parents and Youth


Greetings and happy fathers day to all of the fathers!



I hope you are in the best of health and spirit. As some of you know, since the birth of a Mother’s Cry-He’s Still My Child, I have been on a journey that encompasses speaking engagements. I asked the youth and the parents, at two of the events, what can the community and authoritative figures do to help them make better choices or become better parents. I am obligated to spread the words stated to me from some of the youth and some of the parents at these events.

Although, time allowed only a few to speak out when the questions were asked, it brings joy to my heart to know that there are some who do want help and are not afraid or shame to voice it (when allowed to input), despite of what some may think. I have chosen to share those comments for two reasons: (1) I made a commit to do so and (2) I hope and pray that anyone in authoritative positions will take action:

Swannanoa Development Youth Center, Black Mountain

Youth:

(1) We need more activities, we are bored.

(2) When you organize the activities, please don’t overprice them so that we can’t participate or attend them.

(3) Please don’t judge the book by the cover. Talk to us and get to know us, who we are, what is on our minds, and what we are dealing with.


ARP Phoenix/Sisters of Mercy Nurturing Parents – Pisgah View Community Day, organized by Robert Simmons and Glenda McDowell, parents support group facilitators.

Parents:


(1) We need more parenting classes.

(2) The parents and children need to be taken to church more.

(3) Fathers need to be involved in the children’s lives more.

(4) We need more training on how to effectively discipline our children since we can’t spank them.

(5) We need more training to develop communication skills.


My Thoughts & Suggestion:


There is a communication break down, a disconnect. Some of our young parents and youth are crying out for us! Some of us have taken the time to attend and participate in the discussion of The State of Black Asheville and were pumped up after the first two weeks, but fizzled down afterwards. Some of us have taken the time to come together and participate in other community events and activities such as (Raise the Roof at W.C. Reid Center, Asheville City Housing Authority Community events, Community Conversation on 21st Education, Asheville City Council Meetings, Elections of two new city school board members, Mountain Housing Opportunities for a photographic and historical exhibit of Urban Renewal in the Southside area during the 1960s and 1970s, Evangelistic Worship Celebration, and etc. just to name a few.

Hopefully, we even more will come together and participate in the upcoming events (Mt. Zion Public Meeting, Career Day/Fair, Women Empowerment at Hill Street, Tried Stone meetings with David “Butch” Robinson and Roxanne, Building Bridges, and etc.

As we continue forward with other new ventures, may I suggest?
(1) That we reach out and invite a parent or a youth (who normally wouldn’t go because of lack of interest or lack of transportation) to go with us to some of these activities. Let’s connect those that are disconnected from the community events in hope of educating, encouraging, exposing and empowering them. Then, the next time we come together our meeting’s name will be A CHANGE in the State of Black Asheville and even A CHANGE in other communites and eventually in the State of Our Country.

(2)That we have a centralized calendar of events listing, within our community, that is published and posted on thedrum, Urban News, WRES-FM website, surrounding housing communities, community centers, and anywhere else that is accessible to all who may be interested.

(3) That we take the time, whenever we can, (volunteer to speak at some of the surrounding community centers, volunteer to become a Big Brother or Sister, become a foster parent, become a mentor for a parent or youth, adopt a family from the local housing authority, and etc.) to give tools, share and teach life on life’s terms skills and words of wisdom to all that allow us and don’t forget to allow the parents and youth to share. Listening will let one know what is on that parent or youth mind and heart.

However, topics such as anger management, self-control, effective communication, what it truly means to be a parent, loving oneself, respect, and etc., are all empowerment tools. Let’s go back to the old school and do more talking to our young parents and youth! Spread some love – that comes in a form of your time and attention. In all honesty, we can't talk about what some one else is not doing or how they are doing it if we ourselves, are not doing anything to help change a situation, especially if one is asking for help.

My grandfather, whom I loved dearly, is the one who instilled in me how a man supposes to treat a lady. I called him “Daddy.” Daddy said “a man does not suppose to beat on a woman. A woman was not made to be hit upon. He is to work and take care of her and the home.” So, guess what, to be honest, starting out, I had one man that did, but I quickly broke that cycle. I will not mention the red devil lye I boiled to throw on him. Thank God for intervening!

I said all of this to make a point. Sometimes a person don’t have an individual in his or life to teach them so he or she just doesn’t know because they have never been taught or have been beat down by life’s adversities. But, when they hear certain words of wisdom, teachings, or encouragement, it can be the very words that stick in their mind through life, and those very words just may break a cycle...even a generational cycle. Those very words can be the thing that places him or her on a path of being a productive and contributing member of society. I KNOW because I have been there and done it!

Of course, as usual, I didn’t mean to write all of this, but it was a burden on my heart. Now, I’m free from that burden and am at peace. Thank you for your interest and your time!


DON’T LOOK DOWN ON ANOTHER UNLESS YOU ARE EXTENDING A HAND TO HELP THEM UP. REACH OUT, TOUCH A HAND AND A HEART. MAKE A DIFFERENCE WHERE YOU CAN!