Parenting In Today's Society

Parenting in today's society is totally different from how it was when my sons were the age of my grandson, Clarence Jr. shown in this picture. They are so sweet, innocent and precious! I would always hear the older parents say "Enjoy them now while they are stepping on your toes, for when they grow old they will step on your heart." I wondered what they meant, but it didn't take long to learn!

Then of course, as I look back when I was a child, parenting is totally different from my mother's age group, too. Everyone watched out for the children and it wasn't so much technology, videos, and other avenues to self-destruction available. If the children were disrespectful or did something wrong, the adult spanked them...even in school, there was paddling going on, and then they children got a spanking when they got home. Now a 5 year old will threatened the parent in calling 911.

During my son's 26th birtday party, his 5 year old son, CaRon had to use the restroom. His father didn't move fast enough and he told him, "If you don't take me to the rest room right now, I'm going to tell the police over in the other room." Then he started counting, "One, two, three..." I couldn't not beleive it! This child was using the same process some adults use on the children.

So, as I look back at the past and now in the present, I'm thankful that I birthed my sons during the timeframe I did. To be honest, parenting never stops, as long as you are alive! On the other hand, my prayers are with the parents of younger children in today's society. "Enjoy them while they are young and stepping on your toes, for when they grow older, they will step on your heart!"

Now I ask you, why do you think parenting in today's society is so different?



For parenting tips, visit listed websites:

http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/

http://www.pbs.org/parents/

http://parentingteens.about.com/

www.cafemom.com

Happy Birthday

July 17, four days and three years apart from Shawntae, Zo was born. He is my older son and is 29 years old today. He is talented, too.

Thank you for all of your support, love, and trust Zo! Couldn't have made it through without you. I love you! I hope you have the happiest birthday ever and may God bless you with many more!

Check Zo out at his myspace page. He and Shawntae both write lyrics and sing. His, song, She's Fancy is featuring his brother, Shawntae'rapping. I must warn you that if you scroll further than the main page, there may be some explicit pictures from his guest.

http://www.myspace.com/dnorri


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The assignment to pray for our children is absolutely essential to raise up a generation that will withstand the enemy's attack upon them. (Gen 22:17, Psalm 127:5). These prayers and scriptures are dedicated to this most important responsibility and privilege.

Lord, what you You want for my children? Guide me by Your Spirit as I pray for them according to Your will. I release them to You so that You can accomplish Your will for their lives. I will not try to live my life over through them. Keep me from binding them by my needs, wants, and ambitions for them. Get me out of Your way, so that You can work the life of Christ in them and give them Your best. Give me the grace to wait on You, for Your timing is perfect.

I pray that my children will:

Receive and love Jesus as their Savior - John 3:16

Commit their lives to make Jesus Lord and be filled with Your Spirit - Phil 2:9-11, Ephesians 5:18

Learn to pray and praise - Mark 10:14-15

Be protected from the evil one by the blood of Jesus - John 17:15, 1Johon 4:4

Receive the love of God the Father - 1 John 3:1

Love the word of God - Psalm 119:127-30, 159-162

Learn to hate sin and love holiness, righteousness, and the fear of the Lord - Psalm 119:9, 11:2, 2 Timothy 2:22, Roman 16:19; Prover 8:13

Repect those in authority - Romans 13:1, Ephesian 6:1, 3:22-25

Seek to please God, not self, and serve others - Math 4:10, Psalms 19?14, Mark 10: 43-45

Find the godly life partner that God is preparing, one who will complement them in their obedient walk with the Lord. Proverbs 12:4, 31:10, Psalm 112:1-2.

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Friday the 13th!


Friday, July 13, 2007

Shawntae' with is sons CaRon, Clarence Jr, and Noree (from left to right)



Most people look at this day in a suppositious way and as being unlucky. However, for me, it is a very special day. It is on this date which God sent me a very special gift. He is 26 years old today. I named him Clarence Shawntae’ and is the one I have written about in A Mother’s Cry-He’s Still My Child. I thought about him this morning while reading my morning scripture (Ephesians, chapter two) and wanted to share the word with him.

I went to see him this morning before going to work. I wondered if he had gone out and partied his birthday in or if he had made the choice to chill out. I rang the door bell at 6:30 a.m. and he answered it, with a big smile! I exchanged the smile and gave him scripture I wanted him to read and to make sure we would be ready to have dinner at Ryans. I wanted him to know that I would bring his 5 year old son, CaRon from Brevard and I was still trying to make contact with Ms. T (Tykerria), Noree, and Colea. Clarence Jr., the younger one would be there with his mother.

I shared with my son that CaRon wanted to know why he wasn’t there to go swimming with him, like the other dads do with their children; and I wanted CaRon to have the opportunity to talk directly with him, especially since he hadn’t seen him in some time.

My son and I continued our conversation. He shared with me that he had started reading the book again. He told me about a woman that lives in the apartment complex where he sometimes hangs. “She is in a wheelchair, mom. I always talk with her and continuously asked her why does she do the things she do, especially since God had given her a second chance in life. But you know, mom, this week, she told me that she had gone on your website and read all that you had written. She told me she now looks at me as a different person. She then asked me, why do I do the things I do.”

My son didn’t give me the answer that he told her and I didn’t ask, but I do know it made him think. I then shared with him how I had just received a telephone call on yesterday morning, from an aunt Eleanor in Florida right after I had left him. She asked what was I doing and when I told her that I had just left from seeing him, she replied, “You are still on his trail, aren’t you? You’ll never give up and that’s good because so many parents do. Just think of the ones who stress out so bad that they turn to alcohol and drugs, too.”

I told my son that in order for anything to change in his life, he first has to make a choice to change his mind, his way of thinking. I told him that all kinds of people are asking about him, praying for him, and wanting to talk with and listen to him, but until he makes a choice to do something different, nothing will never change. I reminded him that no matter what he was still my child and I will always love him… even through the sometimes anger and sometimes hurt. I will forever be in prayer with and for him. As I walked off, Shawntae’ said, “I love you, momma.” I turned and said, I know, but I want you to learn to love yourself more, you have other life’s depending on you and God has something for you to do.”

As a parent of a challenging child, it hurts so bad to watch my child self-destruct, for reality is what it is. Sometimes I feel like I am on a battlefield fighting for his life. But I thank God that I have learned that the battle is not mine, it’s the Lords, and the battle has already been won! I just had to learn what I was supposed to do in the midst of it all. To protect me, I learned about putting on the whole armor of God in order to protect my mind and my heart. Action steps were taken. It allowed me to see things from a spiritual prospective instead of only the natural reality. One of the most important thing, for me, is to learn to see a situation the way you want it to be and live it that way. Have faith that one day this will be the everlasting reality.

That’s why, I made a date to get my family together, my husband, my two sons, my daughter in-law, three of my grandchildren (Clarence Jr., Noree’, and CaRon), Clarence Jr’s mother, two of my nephews, and my mother and stepfather. We celebrated Shawntae's birthday. The staff at Ryans sang happy birthday and delivered a personal-sized birthday cake to him We enjoyed the moment, despite of the situations at hand! It gave me a flashback of when Shawntae was the age of his sons. There was so much laughter and recorded memories…ones that I will always cherish.

Jr. ate until he couldn't eat anymore and then he posed for pictures!

CaRon and Noree, both 5 years old shared some brotherly love!




Well, after three hours, Jr. received a call - party's over!







In closing, on the top of the list of important things for a parent to do is pray. As a matter of fact, praying is not just for parents, anyone can pray for a child (all over the world to include the children in Iraq), for others, and self. I know it may be difficult, but we are supposed to pray for one another, even for the ones who hurt us. Zo, my older son's birthday is Tuesday, the 17th. I'll post one of my favorite prayers for the family then! Special thanks to the woman in the wheelchair and to anyone else who encourages not just my son, but any youth or adult whom has chosen a self-destructive path.

Recommended Reading

Sean Covey, author of the international bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, continues to help teens not only survive but thrive during their teen years and beyond in The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make.

The Ultimate Parent Survival Guide
Whether you have a great relationship with your teen or you feel like there’s something missing, best-selling author Sean Covey offers some wonderful, time-tested keys to building the kind of bond you’ve always wanted with your teen. What Sean offers in his articles and books is a different approach for parents and teens to not only understand each other, but to create a lasting relationship.

Contents of the article:

Baby Steps
Baby Steps are small, easy steps you can do immediately to help you apply what you just read.

Voice Finder
What's your niche, your groove, your life's purpose? I call this "finding your voice", and the Voice Finder can help.

Mission Statement Builder
Start living a life of purpose by creating your own mission statement.

Help Desk
Got some real personal questions about problems you're dealing with now? Go here for some professional help.

Checkups
Find out whether you're traveling on the high road or the low road.

The 7 Habits for Teens
Check out my other book and learn about The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
FranklinCovey also offers certification for educators in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens workshop. For more information, click here.


Additional information may be found at 6decisions.com

A Blast From the Past - My Family of Six Generations!


Tykerria "Ms. T." is my oldest grand child of Clarence's seven children. She is now 8 years old. (6th generation)






Alonzo on the left (my oldest son, now 28)

Clarence Shawntae' on the right, now 25 and is the main character in my book, A Mother's Cry-He's Still My Child. (5th generation)





My mother, Shirley (on left and 3rd generation)

Me (in middle and 4th generation)

My grandmother, Bessie (on right and 2nd generation)still alive.



My great grandmother, Pearl Owens Sherard died at age of 31

My great grandfather, Beatty Sherard

My grandmother, Bessie, in her mother's lap
My great-uncle, J.D., in his father's lap